Our petty President with his “Get Back” spirit will never cave on ending the government shutdown because it requires him to walk away without getting something.
You see, our petty president is a transactional person. He’s not a transactional leader, because he doesn’t know how to lead or manage people. He’s transactional, like the dope man or the plumber who comes to fix your toilet. It’s a trade-off.
For instance, a dope seeker goes to a dope guy (or girl) for their fix. The exchange money (or sex, or something else of value), then poof…the deal is done.
Trump works like this, and because he does, I’m almost certain the government shutdown won’t end soon. No one is willing to play his little transaction game. No one is giving him money so he can make his deal for a wall. There is nothing on the table palatable for him in order to make him feel he will win.
But there is another layer to Trump. He’s an emotional blackmailer. Emotional blackmail is a term popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward, about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled.
Trump is emotionally blackmailing us for a political win by withholding work, preventing many of us from taking care of ourselves and our families.
We all now fear him and his government. That’s the bully’s plan. The American people are being held hostage by the government and they don’t have job security anymore, yet most people can’t go get another job because they are legally obligated to their employer Uncle Sam.
People with certain mental conditions are predisposed to controlling behavior including those with paranoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. Trump exhibits all of these disorders (heaven help us).
This is what we are dealing with folks. You can’t bargain with someone like Trump, which is why we will never win. People unemployed due to the Trump Shutdown may never go back and thousands may lose their businesses because control-freak Trump can’t complete the border wall transaction that will give him the win needed stroke his bloated ego.
He can’t win though.
There is nothing to trade because the Dems aren’t offering anything, there is nothing on the table. So we sit, and we wait, hopelessly. This is a hopeless anticipated transaction, just like the rest of the transactions orchestrated by Trump.
The Shutdown to Trump is a transaction. For us, it’s emotional blackmail.
Emotional blackmail is a term coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller (Trump) and the person(s) being controlled (the American people, Democrats, anyone opposing Grand Wizard Trump).
Because we are not therapists, and Trump is not our patient, understanding what we are dealing with can be useful as we all try to remove ourselves from the controlling behavior of Trump as we deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.
Trump is forcing us to be uncomfortable (literally). We can’t feed or house ourselves. Many of us are doing things we find undesirable, even Trump supporters. Things like farmers willing to lose money and possibly their farms because they support Trump’s tariffs and they want other people (Brown people) to be hurt, or like Democrats who are willing to be unemployed and homeless to stand up to this bully President and racist walls.
It’s burdensome having to find alternative ways to survive because you can’t work. It’s burdensome wondering if we’re going to be bombed by our enemies because we are weak. It’s burdensome trying to figure out if it’s safe to go to the store because some angry, mentally, unstable racist massaged by Trump might kill you.
Most of us are self-sacrificing for Whiteness. Whiteness wants a wall to keep Brown people out, even if it means some of us have to die here at home trying to make it come to pass. Whiteness and privilege doesn’t care about your current situation. Nothing matters except whatever it wants or needs to sustain itself.
Trump, his supporters, and his enablers value the currency of Whiteness above all else, and they don’t care if people are homeless on the streets, piled up on top of in-laws or friends, hungry relying on food pantries and soup kitchens, are unable to care for their ill family members, can’t buy medication, or that members Coast Guard (the military they say they love so much) have to work for free.
Electing Donald Trump was a bad transaction for America, hell for the world.
Everything he does in his life is about getting something for something, but because he’s literally a snake oil salesman (and a terrible one at that) he usually tries to get something for nothing.
The American people will never win anything with him as our dealmaker/negotiator. The only people who will win are rich people. Everything he does is about him and his rich crony friends.
Let’s get to the heart of the real transaction. The wall is a huge deal (literally) because one the deal is made and the money is allocated, Trump will get to reward his rich friends with parts of government contracts to build the stupid wall. It will take YEARS to build that wall. That’s millions of our hard earned tax dollars flowing into the coffers of rich contractors who already have a monopoly on securing government contracts. It’s cronyism capitalism people. His supporters and enablers will be laughing all the way to the bank.
We are the sacrificial lambs.
Meanwhile, Trump supporters will be going to those same banks to take out personal loans with high interest rates to stay afloat.
Back to that wall now, the wall that won’t stop illegal immigration, imaginary caravans, the Ebola virus, or other crap scary White people are afraid of.
People will continue to illegally tunnel underneath the existing wall, continue to cross the border seeking asylum the right, and floating on a chicken wing in the ocean. A wall won’t stop or deter illegal immigration, but it sure will make Trump and his friends rich. He loves to brag about being a builder (one who stiffs his subcontractors). That’s why Trump can’t let the wall thing go. It’s a very important financial transaction for him and his kind.
The wall is a transaction is a very bad transaction and we are going to lose, bigly.
We all are going to need psychotherapist when this is over to help comprehend the massive mind-fuck we’re getting. It’s all the more reason America needs to make mental health a priority.
But remember this for 2020. We don’t need more businessmen coming into office to use our tax dollars for personal transactions. It’s time to free ourselves from evil, transactional leadership!
Marley K., January 2019