Why is a White man’s legacy more important than the trauma he causes people of color, in particular, a Black man or woman?
Why are White men extended the courtesy of second chances to get their lives together, to plan their futures or next steps after they’ve been outed as a current or a“ suddenly recovering” racist each and every time at the expense of people of color and women?
Even after White men murder.
Even when a White male police officer kills a Black suspect who is supposed to have the presumption of innocence.
Even after White men openly declare they are a White nationalist in front of White company, their futures and legacies outweigh the trauma they cause.
And because these types of men are rewarded and instead of being punished for their abusive behaviors, they plant the seeds in White men — young and old — that it’s okay to be rapers, abusers, child sexual predators, cop killers, bigots and racists.
White Privilege and White Supremacy allows White men to prevail no matter the crime, no matter the offense, or the number of offenses. Both liberal and conservative White men, young and old, get a lot of do-overs and forgiveness after they harming Black men.
It’s because the value of Whiteness has been deemed priceless.
Whiteness is supposed to be pure, clean, yet always in need of grace and forgiveness — at the expense of Blackness, mainly Black men.
A White man’s legacy and future seems to always trump a Black man’s trauma.
Every time a young or old White man gets in trouble, his future is immediately considered. Watching the Virginia Governor this weekend just confirmed what people of color already know — Yet another White man asking for another chance to prove to him he’s not racist.
Whiteness immediately goes into public relations mode asking questions like “How can he redeem himself? How will he recover and move on?” or “How can his punishment be made so light that he can receive a second chance?” I’m irritated to no end every time I see the injustice happening. This time, it’s the back-stroking Governor of Virginia and his racist medical school yearbook photo.
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam was down with Blackface and the KKK in medical school, well into his 20s back in early 80s, not in the late 50s or early 60s — and now that it was discovered he and plenty of other White men have immediately gone to his future.
The Governor needs time to redeem himself. His needs comes before our peace, liberty —hell the pursuit of happiness for that matter. His legacy and future is put before my trauma. Take note people, because it’s always this way.
The Governor is now refusing to relinquish his power because he needs time to make it up to us forgiving Blacks and to plan his next move. After all, he’s worked all his life to secure this power — he’s not going to allow coons snatch it away from him overnight.
He wants to show us Black he isn’t that person he used to be when he was doing Michael Jackson in Blackface in San Antonio, Texas — except the photographs don’t lie.
Always Worthy of Second Chances (And Thirds)
I am so sick and tired of White men crying about their legacies when they get caught engaging in racist behavior. I’m also tired of people, especially White people, asking Black folks to not only forgive them but also to put our trust in them (again).
Sorry to break the news to you White “reformed” racist men like Northam — but your reputation precedes you. We know your kind all too well, and you aren’t fooling anyone, not Black people anyway.
White young college guys can rape women and get probation, one day in jail, or no jail time at all because the White judge doesn’t want to ruin his future. A Black man gets killed by a White cop because he is asked for his driver’s license. That’s Black man trauma.
On the other hand, a White man is caught being a terrible human being in high school and/or college committing all sorts of crimes to include underage drinking — and he gets passionate, supportive speeches about his offensive (and most times harmful) youthful behavior from Senators about needing second chances. Said White trouble-making man gets the opportunity to then go on to become a Supreme Court Justice. That’s protecting and cultivating a White man’s legacy.
His legacy trumps our Black traumas — over and over again.
Our bigoted President grabs pussies, was accused of multiple sexual assault cases, and has people of millions of dollars to attend his fake university and his case gets dismissed by Whiteness so that he can go on to become the President of America. Said President goes on to declare he’s a White nationalist and he’s proud of it, with the support of people like David Duke.
His legacy of this White man trumps not only a Black man’s trauma, but also a White woman’s trauma too.
Time and time again, considerations are given to White men that aren’t afforded to men of color, and we’re tired of it.
We’re done praying evil away. We’re done forgiving the unforgivable. We’ve done that one too many times. It seems the more we forgive, the more Whiteness offends. We’re done excusing lies, listening to garbage excuses and done giving White men time to get make amends.
Why Forgiveness Is No Longer The Answer
The more we forgive, the more Whiteness (racist White men and people who love and enable them) offends. Forgiveness doesn’t work. The more we forgive, the more they gaslight us.
The more we cry, pray, and preach, the more they kill, betray and destroy us — so why waste our time. After 200 years, I think it’s safe to say it’s a lost cause.
You can’t legislate racism away — because it’s in the heart of a man.
You can’t preach racism away — because the man goes back home or community to his family where he spends the majority of his time. The racism in his home surroundings is more prevalent, more potent — and far more persistent than any 1-hour sermon given in hopes of dispelling it.
You can’t forgive these types of White men and their intentional racism (yes, racism has intent)— because they believe we don’t feel anger or hurt by their racism and other harm caused by their biases and racism.
Black people and people of color can no longer just forgive racism away. Forgiving is not the answer. Forgiving is not the way.
Forgiving White men and their racism implies we excuse their behavior. It insinuates we will pardon their offenses, over and over again. Offering forgiveness implies that we’re overlooking their racist behavior without disapproving their immoral, unethical, and illegal behavior(s). Offer forgiveness minimizes the harm done the victims and gives a priority preference to the victim. Why would anyone do this?
For racist, narcissistic, White men like Northam, forgiving them has nothing to do with us, and has everything to do with them. It has everything to do with their selfishness, and nothing to do with our selflessness. Forgive them has everything to do with their feelings — and absolutely disregards ours.
Screw their feelings and screw forgiving them.
Why do we continue accepting the apologies of the offenders when White men like Northam continue generation after generation to indulge in the same wrong, even when they know better — creating the same debts in need of forgiveness — and engaging in the same sins expecting the same Black restorative justice.
As long as we continue to forgive unrepentant White men like Northam and the sins of racism, we too are implying the value of Whiteness is deemed priceless.
White feelings (White fragility) will no longer trump my Black trauma. Forgiveness will only come with a change in behavior — changes like developing a track record of meaningful anti-racism (not just your one Black friend Bill either).
No longer will forgiveness be awarded based on an ask, because it doesn’t bring about a change. The credit of White politicians, regardless of party affiliation, like Northam is bad for Black trauma. No longer can forgiveness be extended for the debt of institutional racism.
I don’t care about his legacy. I don’t care about his feelings, or the feelings and legacy of any other racist either. Forgiving only multiplies my trauma. I don’t care about Northam’s next steps either — as he doesn’t care about the wounds Blackface or White apathy towards racism.
Just move out of the way so that my people heal. Moving on quickly and quietly helps Black and Brown people prepare for the next one of you White Supremacists who will rear your ugly little heads. Because he (or she) will — they always do.
The next generation of White men like Northam and his ill do continue to live and thrive because they get the honor and privilege of creating a legacy at the expense of Black trauma.
Marley, February 2019